Good day, guys! Ready to dive into some premium-grade crap from Pump.fun?
Let’s kick things off with a quick meta-analysis of the day:
After 10 minutes of monitoring, the most common sight is budget-friendly Pepe clones.
People aren’t even bothering with descriptions anymore. Aside from CortadoAi, every other token with the same exact image has a random name. Basically, everyone wants to push their garbage through this poor frog. We feel for him, but let’s move on.
Well, damn. Over 20 instances of something called SynaptAi? Let’s check it out.
The original website features some hypnotic nonsense and a Twitter button. On Twitter, they have 8 posts and 1,215 followers. Planning to launch a coin, but in reality—nothing special, just the usual posts about their “mind-blowing technology.” Meh, moving on.
Wait, what the hell is this? Is The Large Hadron Collider testing token launches on Pump.fun?
What kind of hellish mix? The coin’s description is just a random jumble of words: Trump, Coyn, Backfired, Fuckwyt, and God knows what else. DeepSeek helped the Collider with the description, obviously.
And the image? A cropped fragment of something vaguely resembling a golden pigeon (or is this another god-tier meme I failed to grasp?).
Let’s move on.
Of course, we can’t go without some fart jokes.
That’s just fundamental. Without this genre, Pump.fun just wouldn’t be Pump.fun. This time, we have a token dedicated to farting on a chair.
Most likely, the creator didn’t overcomplicate the concept: sitting on Pump.fun, lost all his money on yet another scam, got stressed, ate some questionable junk, and started farting into his chair. Through extraordinary calculations, he was suddenly visited by the God of Ideas (legend says he once visited Newton, too). And then it hit him — fart + chair—the perfection. His hands rushed to the keyboard to list this new glorious cult of chair-farting degens as soon as possible.
But let’s be honest, if we keep seeing fart-related tokens on Pump.fun, it’s no coincidence. A secret cabal fart cult recruitment is clearly underway.
As i usually say – fart freely, but don’t let it get liquid.
Moving on.
Oh look, your math teacher finally discovered the formula for parabolic growth and jumped into Pump.fun?
If he had bothered to write lore in this style, he might’ve stood a chance. Let’s break down the formula:
(y = ax² + bx + c)
Bro, you were close, but you messed up your bx.
After scrolling through 10 pages, nothing else noteworthy popped up. I’ll be doing this analysis daily, so stay tuned.
Quaqoun
