A Cartoon Dog Made Me Rethink My Life Choices

The story of a crypto degen, an overhyped dog coin, and a series of increasingly bad financial decisions.

I don’t know what it is about dog coins that makes me forget how money works. Maybe it’s the sheer stupidity of basing an entire financial ecosystem on a cartoon dog. Maybe it’s because I have the risk tolerance of a sleep-deprived Las Vegas gambler.

All I know is that when I saw BONK pumping, my rational thinking packed its bags and left town.

“This is the first Solana dog coin,” they said. “It’s for the people, by the people!” they shouted. “If you don’t get in now, you’ll regret it forever,” some random Twitter influencer with laser eyes tweeted.

And that was all it took. My last $500? Gone. Straight into BONK.

I didn’t even check the chart. I just YOLO’d in, because I’m an intellectual.

The Moment of Glory: “This Is It. I’m Retiring.”

For about six hours, I was a financial genius.

BONK was ripping through the charts like it had just snorted an entire line of Elon Musk tweets. My wallet was glowing. My confidence was through the roof.

I was already mentally drafting my resignation letter:

“Dear employer, I regret to inform you that I am now financially independent thanks to a dog coin named BONK. Effective immediately, I am quitting to pursue my true passion: watching candlesticks on Dexscreener for 12 hours a day.”

Then I did what every seasoned investor does during a pump:

I bought more.

(Yes, I doubled down. No, I don’t want to talk about it.)

The Crash: I Have Been BONKed.

Then, out of nowhere, BONK rug-pulled my hopes and dreams.

Not an actual rug-pull, of course—just a brutal, soul-crushing, wallet-annihilating correction.

The chart did that thing where it drops so fast you start questioning whether gravity is just stronger in the crypto market. Telegram was a warzone. One guy was spamming “BUY THE DIP” like a bot stuck on repeat. Another dude was just typing “WHY?” over and over again.

And me? I was staring at my screen, watching my portfolio bleed, wondering if selling my furniture for more BONK would be considered a solid investment strategy.

The Recovery: Because Dog Coins Never Die

Just when I was about to accept my fate as a full-time instant ramen enthusiast, BONK decided to fight back.

Slowly, volume started creeping in. The community refused to let it die. Twitter started buzzing again. A crypto influencer posted a meme about BONK going to a dollar, and suddenly everyone had hope again.

Was this real momentum? Was this just a temporary pump before another crash?

I didn’t know. I didn’t care.

At this point, I was emotionally attached to BONK. I had already been through joy, despair, and forced self-reflection. I couldn’t leave now.

Forecast: Will BONK Be the SHIB of Solana?

So what’s next? Will BONK survive, or is it just another overhyped dog token destined for the meme graveyard?

📈 Bull Case:

1. BONK has a massive community, and as we’ve learned from Dogecoin and Shiba Inu, hype alone can fuel a coin for years.
2. Solana is booming, and BONK is positioning itself as the DOGE of the ecosystem.
3. If BONK lands a major exchange listing (Coinbase, Binance, etc.), we could see a real moon mission.

📉 Bear Case:

1. It’s a meme coin. If the hype dies, so does the price.
2. Big wallets could dump anytime. If early investors decide to cash out, we’re back to the pain zone.
3. If Solana faces issues, BONK could go down with the ship.

Verdict? I have no clue. But at this point, I’m all in.

Disclaimer:

This article is not financial advice. If you take out a mortgage to buy BONK, your bank is legally allowed to laugh at you.